Republican front runner and former comedian Donald Trump made good on a recent threat to “spill the beans” about Ted Cruz’s wife, whose name we are withholding for her privacy.
Trump offered no apology, and insisted that he only spilled the beans because the can was “too large to get a firm grasp of.”
“I mean, come on folks,” said Trump. “When you make a decision to participate in these kind of things you’re putting you and your loved ones at risk of getting dirty.”
The bean spilling occurred during the GOP’s annual bean eating contest, where party politicians eat baked beans out of a can to show they can relate to the common folk.
A visibly-enraged Cruz used his anger as motivation to power through the 15 cans of baked beans.
Upon completion, he took a microphone from the announcers to issue a warning to Trump.
“You don’t know who I am, you don’t know what I’m capable of,” shouted a trembling Cruz.
All in all, it was another ho-hum GOP Bean Off.