Donald Trump vows to bomb Belgium


BOSTON—Donald Trump expanded on his foreign policy positions in a recent interview by explaining that he advocates dropping bombs on Belgium in order to prevent future terrorism.

“Belgium used to be a beautiful and safe place,” said Trump. “Now it’s dangerous. Just terrible. I mean look at recent events. The terrorists responsible for Brussels and Paris were both harbored there. I’m going to make Belgium great again.”

After a stammering, 10-minute, non sequitur defense of his tragically short fingers, Trump continued to his main point.

“We might as well take out France, too. When I’m president, Europe won’t even know what hit them. I will blow the shit out of ISIS, I promised this before and I say it again. I don’t care where they are, they are going to get bombs dropped on them.”

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