Nestlé secures exclusive contract to bottle and sell Martian water
The Nestlé Aeronautics and Space Administration announced today that water is flowing on Mars and that it is all theirs.
Longtime welfare queen off the dole
House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) announced his resignation early Friday morning.
Pope mass excommunicates all 164 Catholic members of Congress
Pope Francis excommunicated all 164 Catholic members of the U.S. Congress during today’s historic address to a joint-session of Congress, unsurprisingly.
NWA demands Pope stop using “Fuck tha Police” at public events
Pope Francis has caused a stir after the unauthorized use of a classic rap ditty during his first visit to the U.S.
Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO says he’ll lower the cost of Daraprim to $2,500
Martin Shkreli, Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO, announced he would lower the cost of Daraprim after outrage over a price increase that took a single Daraprim pill from $13.50 to $5,000.
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