Trump to fire Mueller, probably
Basic observation suggests Trump’s about to do something unpresidented.
Uncles who think Obama a Kenyan-born Muslim demand more proof of Trump-Russia ties
More proof of Russian assistance to Trump campaign needed, say nation’s uncles.
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Trump to fix Liberty Bell crack
Trump unveils plans for Liberty Bell.
Trump to plagiarize Independence Day speech
Poorly rated Trump unveils plan to plagiarize film’s famous speech.
SCOTUS okays partial travel ban, cites proud U.S. tradition of paranoid mistreatment of outsiders
Supreme Court grants Trump restrained implementation of paranoid ban.
McDonald’s stock soars as CEO is replaced by kiosk
Investors embrace replacing overpaid CEO with AI.
Justin Bieber takes over role of Han Solo
Justin Bieber to star in Han Solo movie.
Mike Pence refuses to wear unisex t-shirts
Vice President Mike Pence does not approve of unisex shirts.
