Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer vetoed the controversial anti-gay bill that would allow business owners to deny service to homosexuals. “This abhorrent, monstrosity of a bill doesn’t even come close to solving our state’s rampant homosexual epidemic,” said Brewer. For the last several years Arizona has consistently topped the list of the least safe states for…
In a landmark ruling today, Clarence Thomas decreed to the white, southern-conservative masses that they are better humans than northern liberals. Thomas, who grew up in Savannah, GA., set the record straight about what groups of people were to be harshly and collectively judged based off of his personal negative experiences. “The worst things that…
Actress Jennifer Lawrence, who stars as the lead character in the Hunger Games movies, was confused for the actor Laurence Fishburne earlier today in an interview with a local, portly news anchor. When it became evident that all the questions had been prepared with Fishburne in mind, the starlet totes owned the anchor in what…
After a sudden change of events, George Zimmerman will now be facing Mike Tyson in a celebrity boxing match scheduled for March 15. Yesterday it was widely reported that rapper DMX, also known by his much more menacing birth name, Earl Simmons, was in talks to enter the ring with Zimmerman. Today, however, right as…
Defying all odds, as well as the very rules of the game, Tom Brady led the New England Patriots to an unlikely victory over the Denver Broncos at the NFL Super Bowl. The Patriots, who were not even supposed to be in the Super Bowl following their loss to the Denver Broncos, unveiled that they…
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