Class action lawsuit ends Christmas
North Pole ordered to halt production of copyrighted and trademarked products.
A&E ends Duck Dynasty star’s hiatus after GQ fixes typo
The past twenty-four hours have been a press relations roller coaster for Phil Robertson, a star of A&E reality show Duck Dynasty, after an interview with GQ in which Robertson said some controversial things about race and homosexuality. A&E quickly put Robertson on hiatus until further notice, but, apparently, the whole controversy was due to…
Severe wealth inequality only thing preventing affluenza epidemic
A study released this week by The Heritage Foundation revealed that the sharp increase in wealth disparity over the last several decades has saved countless lives. “Sure, CEOs may now be making 273 times what the average workers earns compared to a meager 20 times more in 1965,” said Sabastian P. $ilverspoon, the author of…
Atheists escalate the War on Christmas, set fire to Times Square Christmas Tree
New York — The annual installment of the War on Christmas heated up last night as a group of militant atheists set fire to New York City’s iconic Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. Onlookers were stunned as the Atheistic Society for Sexual Hedonism and Terror (ASSHAT) stormed Times Square and set the tree ablaze. ASSHAT also…
Obama swears fealty to Castro during Mandela’s funeral
President Obama shook the hand of Raul Castro at Nelson Mandela’s Morgan Freeman’s funeral yesterday. The handshake, the ultimate sign of weakness and capitulation, almost certainly marks the beginning of Obama’s long-feared tyrannical descent into ruthless despotism. Obama’s critics were quick to respond to this sudden but inevitable betrayal. “Each and every day Obama continues to…
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