Texas Republicans threaten secession over turkey pardon

Every single Texas Republican signed a petition to secede last night after President Obama pardoned Popcorn, this year’s annual presidential pardon. “It seems like every year we hear about this president abusing his authority by pardoning yet another turkey,” said Texas Gov. Rick Perry. “And in so doing, this lame duck president continues to show…

Make-A-Wish Foundation accidentally grants wish for infinite wishes

The Make-A-Wish Foundation, a non-profit organization that grants wishes to children afflicted with life-threatening conditions, announced today that it had mistakenly granted the wish of infinite wishes to 7-year-old Damien Thorn. “We have a strict protocol that was supposed to prevent this from ever happening, but somewhere along the line the system  must have failed,”…