A judge has ordered Kris Kringle, more popularly known as “Santa Claus,” to indefinitely halt all production and distribution of copyrighted and trademarked products.
“For far too long Kringle has operating outside of the law and undermining the rights of innovative businesses, such as my clients, by giving away illegally precise, branded replicas of their products,” said Ebenezer G. Scrooge III, the plaintiffs’ attorney.
For centuries Kringle has conducted his operation in a region of the North Pole that was outside the jurisdiction of the courts.
Kringle insisted that this ruling does not necessarily herald the end of Christmas.
“All that is needed for Christmas to continue is for the good little boys and girls of the world to desire simpler, non-branded items such as adorable little wooden choo choo trains and rocky horses!” exclaimed Kringle with a twinkle in his eyes. “Wouldn’t that just be delightful?”
Though it seems unlikely that today’s entertainment-addled tykes, toddlers and teens will adjust their toy tastes, Kringle maintained his cheery optimism.
“Slower demand and production of more of these less labor-intensive items, unlike iPods and iPads, could help bring the elf suicide rate back down to acceptable levels.” Kringle said wistfully.