Trump on suicide watch after realizing ratings boost potential
White House show runners struggle to please fans.
Name changed to American Virus after it makes U.S. its primary residence
America is officially sick of winning.
Dow surges after Fed Govt. signals support for blood sacrifice
Dow bounces back after president expresses willingness to let people die.
Unemployed, childless, bidet-owning introvert pretty smug right now
Man uniquely prepared for these times.
Racist president keeps calling it "Chinese virus"
Racist president continues his relentless fight against decency.
Toilet paper shortage leads to Bidet 2020 surge
Bidet 2020 campaign sees stream of support increase.
ANTIFA grants COVID-19 honorary membership after Bolsonoro tests positive
Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro reportedly tests positive for COVID-19.
