Severe wealth inequality only thing preventing affluenza epidemic

A study released this week by The Heritage Foundation revealed that the sharp increase in wealth disparity over the last several decades has saved countless lives.


“Sure, CEOs may now be making 273 times what the average workers earns compared to a meager 20 times more in 1965,” said Sabastian P. $ilverspoon, the author of the Heritage study. “But because the commoners’ access to affluent lifestyles has been so effectively limited, countless people are alive today thanks to there not being as many rich, shitty parents not raising their entitled, shitty children, which would be driving around endangering us all.”

The study paints a grim picture in which more individuals have higher earnings.

According to the study, nearly 90 percent of affluent parents are doomed to watch their children contract affluenza,

Even more tragic, any attempts to shield their progeny from the condition almost certainly guarantee the disease’s advancement.

“All these decent, loving parents can do is channel their profound resources into preventing their children from ever facing any economic or legal repercussions for being guilty of nothing other than having a really, really sweet life,” the study concludes.

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