At a press conference earlier today George Zimmerman announced he was seeking admission to study law at North Carolina Central University, a historically black college with approximately 10 percent white enrollment.

It was recently reported that Zimmerman wants to study law so he can help other reckless vigilantes like himself.

“Surely this will prove once and for all that I’m not a racist” Zimmerman said, “plus, when I was walking around campus, I couldn’t help but notice it looks like campus security could really use the extra set of eyes.”

Questions following the announcement got tense and quickly escalated into a large-scale Mexican standoff.

The situation simmered, however, upon Zimmerman explaining he was half Peruvian, and therefore could not possibly be involved in a Mexican standoff.