Washington, D.C. – While the rest of the nation waits in sheer agony for the conclusion to the hit television series Breaking Bad, President Obama used the powers of NSA to obtain copies of the final episodes from Vince Gilligan’s personal computer. President Obama watched the entire series beginning with Season 1 on Friday after Netflix released the first part of Season 5.
“Not only do I enjoy the character development, the writing, and fantastic cinematography that makes me believe I am in Albuquerque, New Mexico,” remarked President Obama, “The great performances from the actors remind me of why I am so proud to be an American. It ends the way that Vince Gilligan wanted it. I don’t give out spoilers – Michelle ruined Fight Club for me and I really learned a lesson from that. “
Secret Service Agent Richard Donovan contacted Stubhill News to report that he was the
one responsible for getting President Obama addicted to the show after he gave vague hints and energetic compliments about the show for over two hours once during a security detail.
Vince Gilligan was informed of the news this morning and promptly released this press statement:
“While I am disappointed in President Obama abusing the powers of his office, I understand. In fact, I am humbled. It reminds me of a character I have been trying to flush out for a while that used his talents to create grandiose events that
maybe were not the best choices, but a man provides with what he can do. I hope that these acts were within the full measures of the law and wish President Obama a happy life without any more new episodes of Breaking Bad.”
The NSA verified this morning that digital raid was conducted of Mr. Gilligan’s laptop under the suspicion that the show was a front for making meth for al Qaeda. It is unclear why the level of official press and President Obama are so obvious in contradiction.
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