In a landmark ruling today, Clarence Thomas decreed to the white, southern-conservative masses that they are better humans than northern liberals.
Thomas, who grew up in Savannah, GA., set the record straight about what groups of people were to be harshly and collectively judged based off of his personal negative experiences.
“The worst things that have been done to me, the worst things that have been said about me, [were] by northern liberal elites, not by the people of Savannah, Georgia,” said Thomas. “Therefor, by the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States, I hereby declare liberals are racist.”
Liberal elites plan to contest the ruling, but, in light of Georgia’s Wilcox County holding its first ever interracial prom not even a year ago, it is expected to be an up-hill legal battle.
Your aunt is expected to share Thomas’ quote on Facebook in the coming days, once someone puts it on a picture of him.