United ejects passenger midflight

UNITED

United Airlines has committed to a new PR tactic of lowering the bar on what is deemed acceptable service by randomly ejecting a passenger midflight.

The airline recently experienced a PR nightmare when a video went viral of a passenger being injured while authorities were attempting to remove him to make room for personnel.

United Airline spokesman Pierre Dee Za’star said this policy will make future beatings seem just and preferable in comparison to randomly dropping passengers to their deaths.

Za’star also said the new policy is helping flight crew physically prepare for the upcoming match between Mayweather and United.

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