New law forces Chick-fil-A to open on Sundays

Chick Fil A Site

Chick-fil-A is now legally required by the federal government to open its doors for business on Sundays.

The rare bipartisan bill was signed by President Barack Obama Friday morning and takes effect immediately.

“No longer will Chick-fil-A be able to discriminate against consumers based on which day of the week they feel inclined to have a tasty chicken biscuit,” said Obama. “These individuals have no say so in the matter. It is unfair to exclude them from enjoying one of life’s greatest joys. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

Southern lawmakers decried the president’s logic as unconstitutional, but were nevertheless willing to “let this one slide.”

“The president is right for the wrong reasons,” said Georgia Governor Nathan Deal. “Sometimes the ends justify the means. No longer will churchgoers be forced to settle for putting second-rate chicken nummies in their tummies after a grueling Sunday church session.”

According to constitutional expert Barry Manilow, the founding fathers may not have expressly given the federal government the authority to regulate the sale of chicken, but the private writings of James Madison reveal that it was the primary motivation for the creation of the Commerce Clause.

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5 thoughts on “New law forces Chick-fil-A to open on Sundays

  1. Are you absolutely kidding me?!?! This has got to be a joke. Obama should have NO say so in who is open on Sunday and who’s not. He’s a joke.

  2. I agree; He should focus on other more pressing matters; not who stays open on Sundays or who gets a chicken biscuit!!!!!!! Just like O’bama!!!!!!!!

  3. There are many businesses that do not open on Sunday. Why is Chick-Fil-A being singled out? If Chick-Fil-A is forced to open their doors on Sunday then all business should be made to open their doors on Sunday as well. None of them should have to. What a Joke.

  4. So, my favorite seafood restaurant is closed on Monday’s. Should I get O’ Bama to tell them they have to be open on Monday’s cause I want their fried oysters on Monday’s? Isn’t there anymore pressing matters that he should be spending his time on!?!?

  5. This is a seriously stupid law! Chick fila should stay the way they are. I really can not wait until our so called president is out of office. He is more concerned about where to eat on Sunday then how our troops and law enforcement and public safety is treated! I’m 24 years old and raised the traditional way

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