NYC law creates “separate but equal” restrooms

bathroom

NEW YORK – Mayor Bill deBlasio signed a controversial new bill today that allows institutions to promote “separate but equal” segregation of restrooms.

“For too long we have had to share our restrooms with those who might make us uncomfortable,” said deBlahso. “There should be a bathroom for pooping, and bathroom for peeing. Nothing is worse than going pee while someone going poop makes the place smell bad and people feel weird hearing poop noises.”

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders heavily criticized the new bill as depriving rights without due process of law.

“Being able to take a poop in public is a fundamental human right,” said Sanders. “If I am elected, it will be lawful for anyone to poop anywhere at anytime.”

Sanders added that dividing the working class is what the ruling class wants.

“Bathrooms have historically been the birthplace of revolution,” said Sanders. “This fact is not lost on the rich, who can already afford to not poop.”

Republican candidate Ted Cruz applauded the bill while noting that he didn’t understand why women’s bathrooms needed segregation as “girls don’t poop.”

Follow Stubhill News on Twitter for all your crappy newsFacebook Long Icon
Twitter Long Icon
TUMBLR Long Icon
Pinterest Long Icon

Poop count: 7
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s