Karl Marx endorses Bernie Sanders for president

Karl Marx Site

Karl “The Specter” Marx has endorsed Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders in what is either a major campaign setback or achievement, depending on who you ask.

The spooky development happened briefly before closing ceremonies at a Sanders campaign event on Friday.

During the granola eating competition, the lights dimmed as Marx’s large, translucent and disembodied head, à la Zordon, floated over the contestants to decree that “B-dawgs ideology of favoring expanded support for social programs within a mainly capitalist system is close enough.”

Marx then took the opportunity to denounce Hillary Clinton as the “yipping lapdog of capital” before proceeded to debut an attack ad featuring the candidate  barking like a dog.

However, Marx’s most harsh words were reserved for Donald Trump, which he referred to as an “antiquated, bougie satchel of sick.”

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