NASA has determined the nature of the object obscuring light from a distant star which some speculated could be caused by a massive, energy-harvesting structure.
After months of analysis, NASA announced that the that the object responsible for reducing the light produced by the star, known as KIC 8462852, is none other than your mother.
The finding is a breakthrough for astrophysicists according to David Weaver, NASA’s associate administrator for the Office of Communications and former school bully.
“This discovery is a huge step towards confirming the theory that your mother is so fat she has her own solar system,” said Weaver.
Weaver said NASA has no plans to communicate with your mother due to how long it would take to transmit radio signals.
“Even if she could live long enough, she still wouldn’t be able to receive the signals,” said Weaver. “As we all know, even without the time restraints, yo mama is far too dumb to assemble a device capable of achieving interstellar communication.”