Mississippi IHOP sinkhole fulfills biblical prophecy, dark lord imminent

IHOP

A sinkhole opened up and swallowed 15 vehicles outside of a Mississippi IHOP yesterday.

The 50-foot wide and 600-foot long sinkhole is believed to be the one foretold about in the book of Revelation as the first sign of the coming of the dark one.

Mississippi residents aware of the prophecy attempted to prevent construction of IHOP restaurants, but the most obese state in the union quickly succumbed to the temptation of endless pancakes.

IHOP was quick to apologize for triggering the end times.

“IHOP is prepared to make this right, and that is why we are offering a free order of all you can eat pancakes, as well as one order of our signature Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity®, to any warrior who is able to slay the dark one,” said IHOP CEO Jack Flap. “Act fast, this deal won’t last and supplies are limited.”

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