Last week, Ron Paul, the former Republican congressman, and father of the late presidential candidate Rand Paul, announced he would be joining ISIS.

The announcement was made at Paul’s recent 80th birthday celebration.

Paul said the decision stems from their shared preference of the gold standard and opposition to the United State’s foreign policy.

“I understand this may seem like a perplexing move to some,” said Paul. “Inspect my political record and you will see I have a long history of throwing my name in with a bunch of religious ideologues and extremists because of a couple shared positions.”

Stubhill contacted Paul and he informed us that his first two days have gone “quite smoothly.”

“I was a bit disappointed to see there was less human sacrifice involved than a typical gathering of Congress,” said Paul. “But I guess you just have to remember it’s a different culture over here.”