Billy Joel charged with arson

billy-joel-didnt-start-the-fireSinger-songwriter William Martin “Billy” Joel has been charged by authorities with multiple counts of arson from the 1980s.

Lead detective Creed Ulysse said that Joel was the initial suspect, but had effectively derailed the investigation through the cunning use of song.

“Even if the chorus wasn’t completely convincing, there was no way we could have found a jury pool that wasn’t tainted during that time,” said Ulysse. “Saturating the airwaves to make the public associate you with not having started the fire was a brilliant move.”

Ulysse said he recently realized he’d been deceived while he was reading the song’s Wikipedia page and discovered that the song wasn’t really about an actual fire.

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