Ben Carson suspends campaign after press conference fart

WASHINGTON D.C.—Republican Dr. Ben Carson abruptly suspended his presidential campaign Wednesday following an unplanned fart during a televised press conference.

The press conference, intended to focus on health care, had barely begun before the incident occurred.

The fart, which lasted seven seconds, occurred after Carson passionately slammed his fist on the podium after his opening line of “the health care mandate is the worst thing since slavery!”

Several journalists in attendance corroborated that though only seven seconds, the incident felt like an eternity.

“At three seconds I thought it was a brilliant play to peel away votes from Trump’s base,” said political analyst Emma Chore. “It wouldn’t have been the first time a Republican used flatulence for gain in a political setting.

“During the 1980 presidential debates Reagan increased his popularity and earned the nickname ‘Dutch’ by constantly farting over Carter’s responses. But after five seconds it became painfully obvious that Carson wasn’t in control of the event.”

ben carson youtubeAn hour after the event, the Carson campaign released an announcement suspending the campaign.

“This event has been the worst thing since the health care mandate,” said the release. “The campaign is suspended until further notice. God have mercy on us.”

Presidential polling immediately following the event showed Carson’s approval gained 6 percentage points while Donald Trump’s approval lost an equal amount.

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One thought on “Ben Carson suspends campaign after press conference fart

  1. Pingback: Frantic, knife-waving Carson says he doesn’t want to have to hurt Trump | Stubhill News

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