FLORIDA KEYS—In an unusual foreign policy move, the United States has recognized the sovereignty of Mueller Island, previously acknowledged as a United States territory off the coast of Florida.
Acting President Donald Jekyll Trump took a moment to comment on the controversial development on the way to his party bus this Morning.
“President Mueller is a good man and really enjoys margaritas and beaches,” said Trump. “His independence a long time coming, folks. Okay?”
When pressed on if the island was in exchange for a favorable report, the president pressed back forcefully.
“The fake news media is just jelly AF that I got exonerated and they did not,” Trump decreed between a series of blown raspberries.