Christian Bale has revealed that in the lead up to his award winning performance in Vice, he tricked the nation into war, revealed the identity of an undercover agent and shot a friend right in the face.

The notorious method actor went on to explain that Dick Cheney never existed, and for the better part of the last fifty years the actor had worked tirelessly leading a second life in order to flesh out the character.

The actor also revealed that our reality is a nothing more than simulation in Christopher Nolan’s latest experimental film.

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At press time, we were tripping balls, man.

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