XFL to relaunch as “premier, cuck-free football league”


At a press conference today, former World Wildlife Fund CEO Vincent Kennedy McMahon announced plans to relaunch the XFL.

The XFL was a totes extreme football league that lasted from 2001 to 2001.

According to McMahon, the main flaw of the XFL was that it was an idea ahead of its time.

McMahon unveiled bullet points explaining how the XFL would distinguish itself from NFL this time around by adding even more extreme flavor.

  • Mandatory use  of performance enhancement drugs
  • National anthem played at begging of every quarter
  • Games last five quarters
  • Right to carry extended to fans in the stadiums and players on the field
  • All penalty flags disposed of properly after touching ground
  • Concussion quotas
  • Complementary handjobs for soldiers and police officers
  • No cucks allowed

“This time around, XFL will be more American and even more xtreme,” said McMahon, while raising his crossed arms to make an x. “XFL will establish itself as the go-to for premier, cuck-free football.”

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