Lawmakers considering possible policy responses to the massacre in Las Vegas have been politely reminded about what happens in Vegas.
The reminder came courtesy of lobbyists from the National Reprobate Association.
“We know a terrible, awful thing happened,” said the lobbyist. “But there are certain rules around Vegas. They do things a little differently there, see? They don’t take kindly to people snooping on what they do, or imposing their ‘laws.”
While shocked that news of the massacre was able to reach the outside world, Las Vegas tourism board spokesman Barry Manilow assured Stubhill News that this is not the type uninhibited behavior that they promote.
“Jesus, that slogan just applies to sexyfun things,” said Manilow. “This was neither sexy nor fun. Jesus. The NRA is a gaggle of assholes.”