GMO scientists develop millennial-resistant avocado


GMO scientists from the Institute for Methodological Analysis and Design (MAD) say they have alas unlocked the secret of the avocado, which has enabled them to create an avocado which does not appeal to millennial consumers.

The development may be a much-needed lifeline for the delicious produce as millennial consumers have driven it to near extinction in recent years.

The MAD GMO scientists say they went back to basics for the solution.

By merely writing ‘#MAGA’ on the outside of the avocado, the scientists discovered that consumption among millennial went down by 25 percent.

“We are now experimenting on encoding human vocal cords into avocado DNA’,” said lead scientist Barry Manilow. “We believe with proper growing practices and speech therapy we can create an avocado that will proclaim ‘hands off, cuck’ when picked up.”

According to test panels, such a feature may lower millennial consumption by as much as 40 percent.

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