Acting President Donald Trump has announced that fixing the famous Liberty Bell crack is a personal top priority.
“This crack represents a tradition of bipartisan failure,” said Trump. “Nothing gets fixed in this country anymore. I alone can fix it.”
“It’s as much a sign of Reagan’s failed war on crack as it is Obummer’s laziness,” Trump added.
The White House press office released an outline of Trump’s restoration of the national icon.
According to the release, the “Trumpery Bell” will be recast, covered in gold and have Trump’s Twitter handle etched into it.