Thousands of professional, unemployed “fans” show up to Patriots parade


BOSTON—Thousands of professional, unemployed Patriots fans flooded the streets of Boston on Tuesday to celebrate their fifth “Super Bowl win.” The more you look at it the more obvious it gets that the whole thing is a total sham. Sad!

The failing Patriots are highly overrated and have had to apologize for their inaccuracies on several occasions. The system is rigged, folks. People are also saying they cheat all the time. I hear they bug opponents locker rooms – that’s what people are saying?

Are these accusations true? I don’t know! You tell me. That’s just what people are saying.

I hear from so many people who can’t stand the Patriots. A lot of people; really great people. So if nobody likes them, why do they have so many fans at their parade? They are professional fans. They didn’t even care who won until the Patriots won. Where were these fans during the season?

And retailers are telling me Tom Brady sold more jerseys this year than any quarterback. This is fake news. The polls and numbers are lies, just like how they blame deflated footballs on physics.

Any of the so-called “physicists” who claimed that there is scientific explanation for footballs deflating are a disgrace to scientists and should lose their “PhDs.” The Ideal Gas Law is a liberal conspiracy fabricated by China to promote their global warming hoax.

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