SECRET LOCATION—Many, if not most of the beloved celebrities have lost their supply of oxygen in their fallout shelter in which they hoped to wait out the rest of the year.
The bunker somehow sent a telegram to media outlets and law enforcement requesting immediate assistance.
“Please send help STOP we have no air STOP love J Beibs STOP”
Before going into the bunker Barry Manilow told Stubhill that “this extreme measure might be the only thing left to guarantee safe passage to 2017.”
“We have some of the best doctors on site with 24 hour medical supervision. The location is secret and you can’t come. It’s also going to be a bitchin’ party.”
Authorities and Beliebers are currently on a frantic search to locate the bunker as its location has yet to be identified.
Stubhill News received a telegram from Barry Manilow earlier this morning.
“Dear Stubhill STOP the oxygen supply got cut off and the bunker is air tight STOP it is likely too late for us STOP the cosmic irony has been acknowledged and we all had a good laugh 😂 STOP.”