Markets plunge after Nate Silver seen stocking up on canned goods


Global markets were thrown into turmoil this morning as predictive demigod Nate Silver was spotted stocking up on canned goods at a local grocery store.

Silver, who successfully predicts elections using something referred to as “data,” insisted that his purchase so close to the election was merely correlation.

Silver insisted the cause of his purchase was a recently diagnosed sodium deficiency.

The reassurances did little to assuage panicked investors, as all markets except for industries benefiting from gold, guns and gas masks were reporting a steep 60 percent decline by noon time.

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