First post-debate polls reveal new presidential front runner


Exploding upward from the ashes of the great experiment of American democracy a hero has risen, according to the first round of comprehensive polling data following the second U.S. presidential debate.

“What steps will your energy policy take to meet our energy needs, while at the same time remaining environmentally friendly and minimizing job loss for fossil power plant workers,” asked the previously unknown Kenneth Bone to the candidates of last Sunday’s debate.

Little did Bone know that while he thought he was merely asking a question, which all will agree was the most relevant and informative question ever asked at a presidential forum, he was also answering the American public’s desire for a true political outsider.

In a three-way match between Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Bone, Bone is heavily favored by as much as 80 percent of likely voters.

Unfortunately it may be too late for Bone to officially make the ballot, though a massive grassroots write-in campaign is underway and most states are holding emergency legislative sessions to consider legal possibilities.

Clinton has already begun to coopt Bone’s appealing platform by appearing in his signature sweater at an appearance in Pennsylvania today.

Trump, on the other hand, started to make overtures in hopes of securing an endorsement from Bone.

Trump has renamed his youngest son Barron to K’Bone, and has offered to let Bone assume full control of energy, domestic and foreign policy in a Trump administration.

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