This afternoon Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders issued a scathing rebuke in response to a recent endorsement from Bill Clinton.

“One percenter and super predator Bill Clinton can take his endorsement, place it in his Golden Saxophone, and shove that saxophone where the sun don’t shine,” thundered Sanders before a teaming hoard of ravenous democratic socialists.

In the ’90s, Clinton was involved in the Whitewater scandal, in which hundreds of poor people drowned while being force to mine gold for his infamous Golden Saxophone.

“Our campaign cannot thrive so long as the toxic association with that filthy jazz musician festers in the minds of American voters,” said Sanders

Stubhill News was unable to reach out to Clinton for a response because we here at Stubhill seek to provide a working environment free of harassment, and therefore did not want to expose our extremely attractive journalists to unwanted advances or comments about their sexually enticing features which suggest both fertility and vitality.

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