IOWA—After much disagreement over Monday’s Iowa caucus results, Democrat and the Republican officials have announced that all candidates won.

According to the announcement, all the delegates will be split evenly and the candidates will all receive “participation delegates” as well as medals.

“We really thought everybody did such a good job,” said the officials while nodding to each other. “They all came to Iowa and made some great new friends. In the end it is not about who scores more points – it is about the experience and the memories.”

“Jeb was really happy to receive a trophy in the end because he tried really hard,” said George Bush, a Bush campaign intern.