BOSTON—Famous astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson shook the scientific community today by presenting a groundbreaking paper during a conference held at Harvard’s Physics Entity for New Interplanetary Sciences headquarters.
In the paper, backed up by a lots of complex science, Tyson gave credence the controversial Flat Earth Theory.
Up until this weekend Tyson had long been a supporter of the more popular theory that the world was round.
Tyson explained that a recent exchange twitter exchange with rapper B.o.B. lead to a lot of “soul searching.”
“B.o.B’s diss track really clicked and got me thinking about things, namely about all the mysterious huge checks I get whenever I say the Earth is round while in public,” said Tyson. “Frankly, I’m embarrassed I didn’t connect these dots sooner.”
A frantic Tyson went on to explain that he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep within the last 48 hours as he and B.o.B. had been working tirelessly on determining a scientific model to best explain the shape of the Earth.
“Looking at our findings now, it seems rather ridiculous that the Earth is round,” explained Tyson. “I mean the sky can’t be below us, it’s the sky! When was the last time you looked down to see the sky?”
Tyson further explained that there is a massive wormhole in the Pacific Ocean that consistently travels from one end of the Earth to the other, generating an illusion that the Earth is round.
Tyson and B.o.B.s.’ new findings have already received scientific acclaim and calls for a Nobel prize nomination.
Baptist Pope Barry Manilow praised Tyson’s findings as the “inevitable return of scientific understanding to Biblical thought.”