According to the study conducted with a control group of 10,000 patients, the chemicals in candy have both short-term and long-term health effects.
After exposure to active ingredients found in candy, subjects immediately exhibit a euphoric rush and increased energy, with juveniles in particular becoming over-excited.
“Its truly alarming how dangerous these chemicals can be for our children,” said Dr. S. Kittles, a nutritionist known for his blog NoMoreFun, and who recently skimmed the article’s abstract. “After first ingesting these dangerous compounds, cravings to consume more happen almost immediately. After the effects of the chemicals in the candy wear off, subjects feel sluggish and tired; demonstrating mood swings and premature naps.”
Worst of all, increased exposure can cause a loss of appetite, resulting in “spoiling your dinner,” according to mom.
Long term exposure to these chemicals leads to more serious complications; subjects with frequent exposure show a significantly higher risk of developing diabetes.
The Crest Team was reached out to for comment on the matter as the study also shows that long-term exposure can lead to tooth decay.
“This is only the most recent of many attacks done by the Cavity Creep,” said Crest Team Commander George Tichenor. “This time they are coming after our children. This has gone too far.”
The Crest Team has been fighting a guerrilla war against the Cavity Creeps since the 70’s.
“We have suffered too many casualties to tooth decay,” said Tichenor. “We have many fallen heroes from our band of brothers, however our fight is noble and we must persevere to fight evil.”