Trump vows Tom Brady’s support will not stop deportation of Gisele

Gisele deportation featured

At a press conference today, Donald Trump promised supporters that Tom Brady’s friendship with the candidate will not prevent the deportation of Gisele Bündchen, Brady’s Brazilian super model and wife.

“Brady is my friend, but my country comes first,” said Trump. “Gisele is taking away modeling jobs from decent, hard-working Americans, and, if elected, I will not tolerate it!”

Trump continued to address his supporters’ fears by listing over twenty instances where he screwed over his friends.

“Unlike a lot of other things, I have a proven and flawless record when it comes to betrayal,” said Trump. “You can trust that I am not going to all of a sudden let something as meaningless as friendship prevent me from being the callous sack of shit you all know and love.”

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