WASHINGTON D.C.—Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was found dead floating in a pool of what is suspected to be his own tears late this afternoon.
Not much is known about the events leading up to the drowning.
According to the authorities, Scalia’s body was found after neighbors reported “an intensely loud wailing that gave way to a cacophony of sobbing and gurgling.”
This news comes as a shock to the political landscape after today’s historic ruling granting Constitutional protection for same sex marriages in all 50 states, which continued the moral death spiral of the once great America.
At this time, no foul play is suspected.
Justice Antonin Gaylord Bartholomäus Scalia was either 79 or 80.