Local sports fan Nathaniel Fairweather said he looks forward to watching his favorite team win the Super Bowl for the eighteenth consecutive year.
“I feel truly blessed that I am never let down,” said Fairweather. “Thanks to my abandonment of the typical, arbitrary fan model, I am free to root for the winner in every game.”
According to Fairweather, the freedom to switch sides all the way up until the last second of a game is the key to his successful fandom.
“There is also the benefit of being able to switch teams after a game when person who is sore about the loss is looking for a barroom brawl,” said Fairweather.
The only drawback according to Fairweather is that the cost of maintaining countless versions of fan clothing and useless tchotchkes is a financial burden, but the cost he says is worth it as he never has to feel illogical flashes of sadness as a team he isn’t even a part of gets paid handsomely to fail.
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