Clinton insists he was only hitting on women at polling areas
Bill Clinton defends himself against allegations of violating Mass. voting law.
Boston no longer 2024 Olympics host candidate, settles for Fallout 4
BREAKING: Boston Mayor Marty Walsh announced today that he would not support the city’s bid to host the 2024 Olympics, since the function of heightening the city’s profile will be fulfilled by the release of Fallout 4. “Why heighten our profile and strive towards greater, possibly unreachable goals as a city when we can heighten our profile while…
Boston Mayor announces nuclear option for snow management
Boston Mayor Marty Walsh announced today that his office is looking into the use of tactical nuclear weapons as a means of snow removal. Excess snow has become a problem for Boston as record snow fall of over 77 inches in three weeks has left the New England city without space to move the snow…
Objective sports fan looks forward to his team winning Super Bowl yet again
Local sports fan Nathaniel Fairweather said he looks forward to watching his favorite team win the Super Bowl for the eighteenth consecutive year.
U.S. to use targeted drone strikes to combat Ebola
Top military officials quietly announced plans today to eradicate Ebola through brute military force. According to the brief document released on the Joint Cheifs of Staff’s tumblrs, the first stage of the noncontroversial plan involves targeting hospitals in stricken regions, such as West Africa, Dallas and Boston. “This is entirely in our wheelhouse, as it…
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