Clinton insists he was only hitting on women at polling areas

Bill Clinton defends himself against allegations of violating Mass. voting law.


U.S. to use targeted drone strikes to combat Ebola

Top military officials quietly announced plans today to eradicate Ebola through brute military force. According to the brief document released on the Joint Cheifs of Staff’s tumblrs, the first stage of the noncontroversial plan involves targeting hospitals in stricken regions, such as West Africa, Dallas and Boston. “This is entirely in our wheelhouse, as it…

Massachusetts successfully defies God’s wrath for ten years

In what can only be described as divine aberration, Massachusetts is set to successfully defy the wrath of God for ten consecutive years. Saturday, May 17 will mark the 10-year anniversary of same-sex marriage in the state. Not only have all of God’s attempts to inflict moral retribution upon the state been viciously blocked by Boston…