Hot on the heels of securing the coveted endorsement by the Wine Cave Workers union (WCW), Mayor Pete Buttigieg has now been officially endorsed by the CIA.
The endorsement had seemed like a forgone conclusion due to Buttifieg’s career with the organization before it shifted its focus to wineries and overthrowing even more democratically elected regimes around the world.
“We’ve always had a sweet spot for our boy Special Agent Rat, but we had to make sure he hadn’t changed since his time with us,” intoned Eric Bischoff, acting director of the CIA. “But it’s clear to us now, our sweet boy never left us, brother, because when you’re in the nWo, you’re in the nWo 4-lyfe.”
Bischoff then continued: “To all press members, please nake sure “NWO” is spelled like those sarcastic Sponge Bob memes with the alternating uppercase and lowercase. Oh yeah! And that the “for” is spelled with just a 4, and “life” is spelled with a “Y” where the I should be. I’m aware that this might be a little confusing, so please just reach out to us if you have any spelling questions. Thanks.”