In a shocking blow to Net Neutrality, the FCC has announced the Seven Dirty Words that can no longer be said on the internet. These words are ██████ , ████████ , ██████ , ███████ , ████████ , ██████ , and ███████.

“These words are offensive and should be neither read nor repeated by anyone,” said FCC Supreme Leader Ajit Pai during a press conference.

His statement was immediately met with protest.

“█████ you. Eat ████ and ██████ your ██████ with a ██████!” Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren quietly proclaimed after the press confronted her at her local CrossFit gym.

Stubhill’s senior dirty word enthusiast Barry Manilow claims the ruling threatens the future of swearing.

“I cannot use my personal favorite words such as ‘█████’ and ‘█████,” said Manilow. “I’m not sure I can continue on a world where I can’t say ‘████.’ It’s just not ██████ right.”

“It’s a bunch of motherfucking, goddamned bullshit is what it is,” Manilow added.

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