Acting president Donald Trump will attempt to grind to a halt the special investigation into possible ties between the 2016 Donald Trump campaign and Russia when Special Counsel Robert Mueller is inevitably fired if even the most basic fucking observation of his irratic record is any goddamn indication.

The bombshell revelation comes from a report issued by the Union of Drunk Political Scientists.

“Look how recklessly this dipshit motherfucker has behaved thusfar with little to no ramifications from the GOP,” said Barry Manilow, the motherfucking leader of the UDP, quite scholastically.

There you have it. Don’t go acting surprised when it happens, because it’s totally going to.

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