AHCA: “Not having a pre-existing condition” is a pre-existing condition

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WASHINGTON, DC—More controversy over the American Health Care Act has surfaced after a close reading of the fine print has revealed that “not having a pre-existing condition” is considered a pre-existing condition.

“This is one of the more important clauses we have included in this bill,” said House Speaker Paul Ryan before a meeting at the Congressional House of Pancakes.

“Studies have shown that one hundred percent of people who lie about not having a pre-existing condition say they don’t have a pre-existing condition,”  said Ryan. “By having nearly everyone pay more we can really keep insurance costs down for hardworking Americans, like congressional members and their staffs.”

In an awkward moment of tension, Trump tweeted skepticism about the policy, emphasizing concern that it wasn’t harsh enough on Mexicans or Muslims.

At press time, the Grim Reaper was sharpening his scythe.

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