In response to the critical success of the Dunkin’ Donuts’ Energy Punch, the quaint New England mom & pop coffee shop announced it would be launching “Dunk Loko,” a new alcoholic line of coffee with Four Loko.

“We need to give the people what they want,” said Dunkin’ Brand CEO “Pawpaw” Duncan.

The new drink is a reaction to the economic controversy sparked by the success of the Monster Energy-fueled Energy Punch.

“Our Energy Punch was a big hit—a bit too big,” said Pawpaw. “Our customers were going to work with a bit too much energy and their increased productivity was causing their coworkers to be laid off. So we’re partnering with Four Loko and adding our first alcoholic coffee to give you all the energy without the edge.”

Pawpaw said Dunkin’ Brands consulted with Harvard Medical School students to come up with the innovative solution.

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