U.S. Precedent Donald Trump unveiled his “final solution” for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict this morning during his meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
Political analysts believe the proposal is part of Trump’s infamous negotiation style of aiming for bigger goals in the hopes of making the other side settle where he wanted all along.
“Israel is going to be begging for a two-state solution now,” said Slick Rick, Stubhill’s resident used car salesman. “It’s a classic move, you open the sale at $10,000 and the sucker feels like he won when he talks you down to $6,000. When you go high, they go low.”
Trump started the meeting by simultaneously speaking while live tweeting his decree.
“In order to achieve piece(sic) in the region, Donald J. Trump is calling for an immediate ban on all violence,” tweeted Trump. “Additionally, I am recommending the Israeli and Palestinian people forge a 50-state government modeled after the U.S. THANK YOU! #FinalSolution”
Trump then gifted Netanyahu the original U.S. Constitution to help speed up the founding process, and remarked that we no longer were in need of it.
At press time, Trump was tweeting suggestions for names for the new states, which were just U.S. state names with “New” added to the front of them.