President Obama made political shockwaves today by announcing he would accept Sean Hannity’s offer to send the first family to Kenya after Obama’s presidency is finished.
However, the president said he would do so only under one condition.
“I would love to accept Hannity’s generous and not at all racist offer to assist my family in seeking voluntary political exile in Kenya,” began Obama. “However, I could not with a clean conscience accept this offer when I know there is still an unfulfilled offer Hannity made to the families of soldiers. If Hannity fulfills his offer to be waterboarded for charity, then I, as well as my loving family, will graciously accept his plane ticket.”
Seven and a half years ago Hannity said he would undergo waterboarding for charity to prove that the technique was not torture, he has so far refused to follow through with the plan.
Obama went on to outline some general terms of his exile agreement, offering two terms which he described as “non-negotiable.”
Obama insisted that the waterboarding must last at least five hours, and must be administered personally by the next president.
“You’re welcome, Hillary,” added Obama.