Trump campaign wins Pulitzer Prize

pulitzer
This morning Columbia university confirmed rumors by awarding the surrogates and employees of the Donald Trump presidential campaign with a Pulitzer Prize in fiction.

“They really have come above and beyond to progress fictional literature,” said celebrated literary critic Dwayne Johnson. “The people working the Trump campaign are true artists – they have created such an intricate narrative that allows us to suspend reality beyond any other work of fiction to come before it.”

The Barns & Noble Panel of Polling released that among critics, The Trump Campaign is considered the be the most important work of fiction since the turn of the century.

“It is truly remarkable what Trump 2016 has done in creating this new narrative medium,” remarked Barns & Noble shift supervisor Jonathan Cena. “Goodnight Moon and The Life of Pi have been notably popular works of fiction in our time because they take us to a fantasy world that becomes real in our hearts. The Trump Campaign has brought this to a new level; people have been unable to step back out of this fantasy. They are constantly reliving the narrative and refusing to let go.”

Upon receiving the medal, Trump casually remarked that he had “always wanted one of those,” an obvious callback to comments he made when he was gifted a Purple Heart by a veteran. The gathered literary critics leapt to their feet with wild applause.

At press time, Trump was struggling to maintain his grip on the three-inch wide medal.

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