Feminists aim to close gender incarceration gap


Feminist groups across the nation have launched a crime wave initiative aimed at narrowing the longstanding incarceration gap between genders.

The difference of incarceration rates between males and females is difficult to ignore.

Statistics from the Bureau of Justice Statistics show that males are incarcerated at a rate more than ten times that of their female counterparts.

The incarceration gap would vanish overnight if women would commit a single day to committing crime, according to Bonnie Parker, president of the nonprofit Prison Equality Now Initiative for the Sexes.

Initially the group sought to narrow the gap by bringing about statistical equality among different classifications of crime, but it discovered it was difficult to convince women to commit acts of violence.

The group has recently found success by encouraging women to commit crimes they’ve always secretly wanted to do.

“We’ve found great success with our ‘shoplift till you drop’ programs,” said Parker. “Everyone loves new clothes!”

However, Parker’s methods are controversial and roundly condemned by rival groups of radical feminists as promoting gender stereotypes.

“Our group will not simply erase the gender gap in violent offenses, but we will redefine it,” said Hayley Quinn of the XXCons. “After we’re done, it will be the men who are trying to catch up!”

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