Disaster struck the Republican National Convention last night after tears released by attendees created flood conditions within the arena.
The flood began shortly after a holographic representation of former Republican president Ronald Reagan gave the opening speech for the night.
Former presumptive Republican presidential nominee and comedian Donald Trump took charge of the situation by loudly proclaiming that he intended to “build a big, beautiful boat.”
Officials surveying the damage estimate that tens of thousands of Sperrys were likely lost in the flood.
Police are currently seeking Holoreagan for questioning.